The below has been doing the rounds for years now and I’ve seen it in many guises, but still has relevance to the way we interact with each other today. We can communicate much better than these 2 below, but how often do we? How often to we take the time to try and dig a little deeper to find the true, underlying intention? If the fellow in the balloon simply asked “I’m lost, can you help me get to X”, how (much) different would the conversation have been? More thoughts and questions after the conversation:
A man flying in a hot air balloon realises he’s lost. He lowers the balloon closer to the ground and spots a man in a field, so he shouts out, “Excuse me, can you please help me? I promised to return this balloon to its owner, but I don’t know where I am.“
The man on the ground replies: “You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 350 feet above sea level and 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees north latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees west longitude.“
“You must be an engineer“, says the balloonist.
“I am“, replies the man on the ground. “How did you know?“
“Well“, says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.“
The man on the ground says to the balloonist “Well, then, you must be a manager.“
“I am“, replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?“
“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.“
The answer provided by the fellow on the ground was ‘technically’ accurate, but didn’t help the balloon fellow find his way back. I know it’s only a story, but I ask you how can we communicate with each other better than what we’re doing today?
I am sure story will resonate with many people, (especially those in the ‘corporate world’) but what can we learn from this?
Is it right to simply ‘answer’ every question as it’s asked?
Could these 2 parties work together better to solve the dilemma?
Let me know your thoughts on what this ‘conversation’ evokes in you.
This past weekend I went for a bushwalk with my friend Brendon Walker (he of the FatDadSlim fame) from Cowan to Brooklyn in the Ku-ring-ai National Park, North of Sydney.
Jerusalem Bay
It was another early morning start for me (just like it was for the Half Marathon, the Sutherland2Surf and the City2Surf. Why do all these events require waking up before the sun? At least it’s peaceful waking up at 5am – it allows for quiet contemplation of the task ahead without interference). I met Brendon on the train, and we discussed how things are going, and the foibles of getting up late, missing alarms and what we packed for the walk. Neither of us had done this particular walk before so could only really compare to our bushwalk earlier in the year on the Uloola Track (from Waterfall to Audley in the Royal National Park).
View towards Sydney
It was a cold morning. There was mist in the valleys, but most importantly, the sun was shining and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The track itself starts off quite rocky and heads downhill immediately after you cross the bridge spanning the F3 freeway. Within 5 mins we were in the middle of the bush, and barely heard anything other than the sounds of nature – birds, insects and the natural sounds of the bush. We made it to the start of Jerusalem Bay in pretty good time, but most of it was downhill. The quietness and tranquility soon left us as the drone of distant freeway traffic began to be audible for most of the walk.
It took me about 30 minutes to get into the groove during this walk – where I forget what’s happening at home, what others are up to, and begin to immerse myself in the surroundings. There’s a metronomic sense of being part of a ‘machine’ when you’re working, commuting, consuming, and going about your normal duties on any given day. Once you let those things go and appreciate the present, the real, primal rhythm of life starts to come back to the fore. Brendon and I had many conversations, chats and musings along the way but inside I was thinking proactively about how to get out do it more; how to get others (including my boys) enjoy bushwalking; and also the wonderfully different perspective you get from being in such a tranquil, natural place. I truly get ensconced by the environment – the smells of damp bush, the gentle breeze that rustles the leaves and the sunshine breaking through the trees to light your way. I often envisage living in a place with an outlook to some spectacular scenery, not unlike what can be seen in the pictures throughout this post. (My pictures are all located on Flickr)
Patterned path
We passed many Oxfam TRAILWALKERS getting in some training before their 100km in 48hours journey on the 28th/29th August. We did not know why there were so many Trailwalkers out. Brendon said ‘I’ll look it up when we get home’, to which I replied ‘Why do we feel more comfortable finding information from the web when we could just ask the next person to come along the trail?‘. I countered and said “let’s just ask the next trailwalker we see“. These days it seems looking things up on the web has become synonymous with searching/finding answers; however don’t overlook the opportunity to reach out and connect with another person. As it turns out, the trail we were on is the start of the 100km Oxfam trailwalk – the fellow we asked had actually slept in and also asked us if we had seen the rest of his team. Serendipity?
We passed many people who said “oh you’re doing it the hard way”. Our view was ‘What’s wrong with doing it the hard way?’ Neither Brendon or I had known there was an easy or hard way, our journey was decided and we stuck with it. Ultimately we felt warm fuzzies knowing we started the hard way and if we ever come back in reverse, we’d have an easier time of it (but that was not the point of the exercise). One of the trailwalkers commented to me ‘You must be one of the happiest people on the trail today’ (after I conquered a fairly large rock in one big jump :-)). This got me wondering about the nature of compliments – do people give compliments as a way of saying ‘I see this in you that I’d like to see in myself’? The fellow who gave me the compliment may have wanted to be the happiest person on the trail that day but saw it was me – did he secretly long to be? When giving compliments, is the intention (deliberate or subconscious) a way of saying ‘I want to be that way, too’? Check out my short video and let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
Who, then?
At about the half-way point, the track widens out and becomes a fire-trail (wide enough for vehicles to traverse) and signified the start of a 6km walking trail as opposed to a bush track (climbing rocks and navigating obstacles). Referring back to the earlier comments, we can see why our way was the hard way – Starting from Cowan, you’re navigating through the bush; the rest of the track is simply following the (wide) path. Civilisation (in the form of power lines) became a frequent occurrence along this stretch of the track. Check out the cryptic sign on one of the posts (in the pic, right) about who should operate the lever. The main challenge on this part was to seek out little guideposts with small arrows pointing the way – I got the feeling you wouldn’t get too lost following a fire-trail!
Brendon soldiered on quite well with his dodgy knee and one of the other comments made to us along our walk was that there was a pub at the end of the walk where we could get a meal and a cooling beverage…further proof we were heading in the right direction! The final part of the walk was the most difficult as it was very long & steep descent. Did I say it was steep? And long? A couple going in the other direction looked worn out before even doing 1km!
Reward
Stopping for lunch at the pub was the icing on the cake; we’d done the 11km walk the ‘hard’ way, seen some awesome views from various vantage points and had great company during the walk. The early morning starts can be difficult, but the reward is well worth it. I recommend a bushwalk to everybody of any fitness level – not just because of the health benefits of exercise, but also to appreciate what we have in our own backyard and taking some time out of the every-day. I’m also sure more people would have a greater appreciation of nature – something we could all do with. 🙂
(note: all my pictures from the walk can be viewed from my Flickr page)
Coming just 2 weeks after my Sutherland2Surf 11km run, was the 40th running of the City2Surf. I was running with a few friends from work this year and one confidently said “keep your red beanie on so I know when I pass you! Confident words indeed!
This year I started in the green start group as I had cracked the 100min mark in 2009. My goal was to beat 75mins in 2010 (see my Events tab). I completed the run in 75min, 51 secs. Although I did not crack a below 75min time, in my last 3km I cranked out 3×5 min-km! This was also a 2010 goal, to eventually run a 5min-km.
Running, (and most sports actually), are a mental game, and I played my own mental game very well in those last 3km. I am very proud of my achievement, and will surely do better in 2011.
If there’s one take-away from my run, it’s to keep pushing yourself that little bit more, and a little bit more after that, as you probably do have it in you! 🙂
This past weekend, I completed another of my 2010 goals – to complete the Sutherland2Surf fun-run. This is an 11km run from Sutherland to the Wanda Beach surf club. I entered the run for the first time in 2009 and enjoyed it, so went back for more. I also saw this as a good opportunity to see if I had done ‘better’ in 2010 than in 2009. The quick story:
2010 time: 56:59.
2009 time: 58:46.
I did not ‘train’ for the event specifically, preferring to keep up the riding and exercise regime as best I could. I turned up on the day and went for a run, and had a great time. And this here is the importance of exercise to me – it has to be relaxed and fun. Sure, I can get all serious about something (turn on a ‘race-face’ and psyche myself up) – but that’s not what it’s about for me.
There are many people who fixate on numbers. I posted the times at the top to get it out of the way, but I don’t go into these events worrying about numbers. I often get asked ‘how much weight have you lost?‘ as part of My Proactive Life – I cannot tell you as it was never the main focus of my project! In any case, the purpose of my run was to have fun. During the run I wasn’t always feeling like it was ‘fun, but I did enjoy myself! I especially liked how my boys wanted to be there to pick me up at the end of the race 🙂
Anyway, onto the run!
I decided to run to music this time as many reports suggest you can go further/faster/better as your mind is distracted and does not let you focus on negatives like how much you need the loo, or how thirsty you are! I ran to a Podrunner workout track known as 135-175bpm Upward Mobility. As the name suggests it increases in tempo as the song progresses – the music started out relatively slow (for my liking, I like things in the 150-160bpm range) but soon built up. The mixes are approx 1 hour in length so was perfect for this run. My goal was simply to run to the beat. Every beat = a foot striking the ground. And for the most part, I did it!
I did walk whilst having a drink at 2 of the 3 drink stations (no-one looks coordinated trying to drink from a paper cup whilst running…no-one!) but for no more than a minute, then straight back into it. I found the music took care of my feet allowing me more time to enjoy the scenery and talk to myself. I thought about various things during this run, some of which you’ll hear about in future blog posts/twitter updates, here are some of them:
There’s a moment during a run where you hear nothing – the feet of everyone around you seems to hit the ground at the same time, creating ‘pockets of silence’. They don’t happen too often but are perfect little slices of silence you’d never expect during a run!
Even though it was a chilly morning I was glad I dressed simply; some people were overdressed and carrying their gear with them.
Anyone who runs with a pram/child is a hero. Anyone who does it AND pulls away from me is a LEGEND!
I tend to notice just how much incline/decline there is in a road whilst running; more so than when cycling or driving a car.
I feel as one with the terrain whilst running – something you don’t feel in a vehicle
I feel a silent camaraderie with the other runners – for a small period of time you share space/time with other people whom you may never be in close proximity to ever again or paths could cross at any time in the future.
I didn’t achieve my (2009-set) goal time of 55 mins, but that’s perfectly OK; I enjoyed myself, completed the goal and know the benefits from the endeavour will stay with me for a while. If you’re a regular runner (or cyclist or exerciser), let me know your thoughts and what you think about whilst exercising! 🙂
I came across a TV show called Body & Brain Overhaul and found it full of great information to help you become fitter and healthier. Here is the summary of key points I found from this show. This episode was focused on Age-proofing your body & brain. The 2 main presenters are Dr Roy Sugarman PhD (brain health expert) and Paul Taylor (exercise physiologist and nutritionist).
7 brain and body boosters
Know it (bio age, brain assessment, got to know it before you can change it)
Train it (exercise for both the body and the brain is essential)
Defend it (against lack of sleep, drugs, alcohol and tobacco)
Befriend it (do nice things for the brain)
Feed it
Manage it (resilience)
Change it (self-belief)
According to Dr Roy Sugarman, his best tip for aging and the brain: Befriend it, socialising it. “As you get older if you want to build resilience and you want to age nicely, you’ve got to have close relationships, meaningful relationships, lots of people“. Paul Taylor chooses the Train it option, relating it to how the body responds extremely well to the ‘use it or lose it’ principle, and it applies equally well to the brain.
Cells
Systemic inflammation (at the cellular level) is the trigger for all chronic diseases. Triggers include stress, pollution, smoking, too much omega 6 and too little omega 3, too much sugar, wrong types of food, and critically, being overweight – fat produces it’s own chemical molecules that trigger inflammation. Also, if you live a sedentary lifestyle, you have much more inflammation in your body. If you adopt an unhealthy lifestyle, unfit and overweight, you’re slowly killing yourself through systemic (cellular) inflammation.
Before they die, cells replicate (make a copy of themselves containing the DNA). One of the key components in this process is the telomere, which gets a little shorter each time the cell divides. If your lifestyle is poor or you’re unhealthy, each time the cell divides it takes more off the telomere – when the telomere is gone, the cell can no longer divide, it dies and we die. We have to stop this process of look after ourselves through lifestyle!
It’s important to look after our cells!
Toxins
If you ignore your emotions, the toxicity of what’s happening for you in your life, never recovering, always on the treadmill, puts a nice thick band of cortisol-based fat on your stomach, which feeds c-reactor proteins to your brain, all these toxins continuously throughout your life: that’s aging; that’s death.
Formula to be a peak performer
Lastly, there was an interview with the AFL Legendary coach, Tommy Hafey. Here are his 4D’s to becoming a peak performer:
Desire;
Dedication (practicing, working on sills, updating yourself);
Determination (never giving up);
Discipline
= Destiny
My notes
I found this series to be quite straightforward without too much hype, and reinforces many of the reasons why I started MyProactiveLife. The information presented is easy to understand and the show does not come over as being preachy. The aim of the show was to take 4 normal, but different people and give them an overhaul. If you get a chance to watch one or more of the episodes, I recommend you do as I’m sure you can get quite a lot out of it!
It’s filed under PRAOK: Proactive Random Act of Kindness! This would have taken some forethought and careful planning to execute as well as it shows in the video. Happy Birthday Mukhtar! 🙂
I’ve had enough of people looking at health & fitness the wrong way.
Fitness (and that dreaded hanger-on “Diet” and his ugly sister “Weight Loss”) are not one-off things you ‘do’!
Right now your fitness level is your fitness level. It canbe better and it can be worse – it’s not fixed
Your diet is your diet – whatever you eat today is your diet. if you eat differently tomorrow that becomes your diet – it’s not fixed
Weight Loss is the result of taking other courses of action (such as increasing your exercise and changing your diet)
Many people see fitness/diet/weight loss as a one-off, thinking “once it’s done I’ll be awesome”, and then they can stop. I’m the bearer of a wake-up call to let people know that all of these are part of a journey, not a destination! Here’s the simplest way I can put this: Focus on becoming fitter. Do this through:
More exercise and
Eating better (note I did not say eat less…there’s a difference)
Focus on the act of becoming fitter! With this, you will need to change your diet; weight loss will happen.
Cycling does something great for me, and when I miss out, I feel bad (not for missing the cycling, BUT for missing out on the benefits – It relieves stress and makes me clearer in my thoughts and more resilient when things go wrong). It’s winter time here and getting out on the bike is hard(er) to do. I know I need the exercise in my week to keep me balanced! Make Fitness your focus through exercise and changing your diet and your journey will be more successful (I know, because this is what I have done!) 🙂
What are your thoughts on Fitness, Diet and Weight Loss?
If both of these people are present, you begin Connecting
Connecting is vital to our everyday lives; we are now part of the Connection Generation.
Connecting leads to socialising
As we understand more about each other, we move beyond merely connecting into the realm of socialising – of gauging what this other person’s motivations are, their views, their thoughts on various topics.
Socialising leads to Relationships
Relationships are vital to help us stay in tune with other people. I recently blogged that no one person can do it all on their own; we each have our foundation supporters and people we rely on; who keep the home running efficiently; who allow us to be who we are; who provide the support we need to do what we do.
Relationships lead to Understanding
Relationships lead to a better understanding of the world, an better understanding of ourselves and a better understanding of just how diverse and similar we are.
Coming back to the question: Who are the 2 most important people in the world?
Youand Me
Look after you; Look after me; the rest will look after itself 🙂
After a recent discussion at a North Side Coffee Morning (#nscm), I devised a new list of 3 R’s to help focus a little more on things that count (outside the realm of the academic education arena). These 3 R’s can be used in almost all aspects of life, and is something i am trying to instill in my children:
Respect.
esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability*
Respect for yourself and others is an important trait to have. Not much can happen in this world without respect. If you respect the people that matter, it can take you far!
Responsibility.
One of the most important traits you can have is to be responsible: Responsible to yourself, your fellow man and the world you live in. Responsibility is an important part of life because it shows that you care about what you do and the impact you have. Having the fortitude to stand up and admit you stuffed up or hurt someone goes a long way. It’s also one of the cornerstones of trust, an important part of what makes the world go round.
This is a tough skill to learn. The ability to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back into it is one of the skills that will see you through many encounters in life, both good and bad! It’s quite a difficult skill to teach, however I have been trying with my boys to get them to understand that there will be times where things don’t go your way. It’s how you act when things are not going your way. It used to be called ‘character building’, but today I’ll call it resilience. Empathy with the ‘other’ side of the story or being able to see things from both sides can help.
Can you think of any other R’s that could make useful traits for life?
